If you're wondering why you haven't been hearing much news out of Loose Nuts HQ these last few weeks, it's because we've abandoned our wheelbuilding initiative and began pouring our federal bailout money into a venture that will be more sustainable in these tough economic times: hair styling. Here is a photo of one of our models showing off the flashy and upscale, yet decidedly derelicte look that our new pneumatic styling gun produces:
While the curmudgeons and retro-grouches of the Athens hair fashion scene may be reluctant to embrace this new oh-so-green innovation and abandon their gallons of ecologically hazardous products, dyes, and ear-gouging scissors, we have been promised a hefty sum of Obama-approved stimulus money to fund an infrastructure development program that will put the technology necessary for pneumatic styling within the reach of salon, barbershop, beauty parlor, stylist, and flo-bee owner in Athens and across Georgia. Naturally, the Halliburton of fashion houses, Mugatu Inc. has been contracted to carry out the necessary work.
This move will put thousands of unemployed poodles and stray cats to work, and will help preserve the lightness of Athens hairstyles for years to come.
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